Fuck this shit. Does anyone have a spare phone I can borrow for the next few weeks? This is getting really impractical. Also it seems to have logged me out of Facebook mobile so I can't get on there either <.<



Also does anyone know anything about helicopter licences or maybe anyone who's studied for one or has one? I may want to get a commercial license in the next two years and am wondering how long it's going to take me to save for $56,000 >.>

Fuck, man. Maybe I should just buy a house instead.

There has been a nice stirring of mildly out-of-the-ordinary occurences in my life of late.

For instance I keep getting wrong number text messages from some local rugby club captain to inform me of the latest games, encourage me to sign on for next season, or congratulate us all on our brilliant work and "hows about we go down to the Cott later for some brews, ey? Tell Madds and Dommo."

Oh will tell them. I will. I love wrong messages. They're like tiny uninteresing insights into some stranger's life. Rather soothing.

Speaking of my phone, it has gone completely loopy since i stuffed it down my bra for safe-keeping during the Pride parade, and is now locked on dictionary mode, the function buttons don't function (harhar), the *, #, space and right arrow key don't work, and neither do the buttons for 4, 7 or 9. (The power of my cleavage is truly astounding.)

This means several things: I can't unlock my phone when it gets locked and have to pull the battery out everytime, usually while cursing under my breath. I also can't start or really type any words with the letters g,h,i,p,q,r,s,w,x,y,z. As you may have guessed, this is somewhat FRUSTRATING. There are words which my dictionary types automatically and I can these to string messages together, but not very functionally. They are:

And, 2moro, also, am, ALternatively, carpark, Bbq, cabaret, be, but, afters, bitch/es, CITIZENSHIP, Court, crap, argh, assn, arvo, curtin, aww, CLubbing, bday, ccqn, bogans, 2day, cnr, bourke.

Fuck, facebook, FRACKAS, fairLy, fantasising, Eoss (very important), dentures (not so important), dome, douche, Dolls, damn, danger, dracula, freo, dresden, Erm, FUCK, fucked, Fucking, DVD, dyke.

karaoke, jager, lightsaber (heh), Lol, loverr, lycra, night, nah, Ooh, omg, new, nerdiness, nirvana, omelette, NOT, Northbridge, me, mock, mobile, mouse, muesli, NYE.

The, Ur (Ur?), UWA, tix, ukelele, timezone, tute.

No, I'm not sure why CITIZENSHIP is being screamed in all caps either. Maybe I was particularly angry about refugee rights that day. But note the stinging absense of irreplaceable articles such as in, from, so, what, which, who, when, where, why, how, hey, YES (or any other affirmative), etc.

These words do however sum up my life in some pathetic way, and it is your task, dear reader, to reply back using only the words on the list! How exciting! Alternatively you could compose and post a haiku about your day, also only using the above words.

And now you shall all feel my pain :) I'm thinking of not fixing this for now (BECAUSE ITS FUN DON'T YOU THINK ITS FUN) and developing a code amongst friends for key words. So...

"danger.mouse" will mean 'yes/ok',
"CITIZENSHIP" means 'Where are you?'
"Ur" will mean 'Ur' (obviously)
and "dentures" means 'no, sorry I'd rather have all my teeth fall out but one'.

REMEMBER THIS CODE, YOU'LL BE VERY CONFUSED OTHERWISE. Have a nice rest of exams :)

As one united, amazing mass movement, CCQN WA branch bid as a state-wide collective to host Queer Collaborations for 2010...

..And we lost by 2 votes to Wollongong Uni. 3 of our conference attendees were sick and in bed and unable to attend and 2 had gone for Nando's.

In a dazzling display of logic, I came come to the unmistakeable conclusion that Nando's and the grilled chicken fast food industry, are most certainly the spawn of Satan and must be crushed immediately.

I enlist you all to my cause...

*sigh* I'm not sure why this is affecting me so very much. Maybe it's the bastard SAlts (Socialist Alternatives) who threw it back in our faces across conference floor with all the grace and poise of five year olds.

Maybe because seeing Frankie go to pieces is so incredibly wrong and horrible and indicative of how much we all really fucking cared. Still care.

It was going to be amazing. Inclusive. Defactionalised and as free as possible from all that party politics, unchallenging, unchanged, tired ideologies versus tired ideologies bullcrap that you get from every QC year after year.

It was decided by a completely unanimous vote of 20 people from 4 different unis who all know and live with and love each other.

And it hurts. Hurts.

1235 The static from my headphones sounds like a constant waterfall in my ears. Is somewhat soothing.

1237 Need to pee. brb.

1253 Have not heard Mother yelling at door for various reasons (ie. to move my 30kg typewriter to somewhere other than the middle of my room, do the laundry, close the bathroom door, change my bedsheets, water the hibiscus...hibiscii?..) for 3 whole minutes. Perhaps got tired and went to watch Nigella.

1305 Linguistics Assoc Professor Marie-Eve is 30ish, respectable, petite, French and adorably clueless when it comes to Australian slang, and 3 days of straight ilecturing and listening to her prattle on about recursive structures in that heavenly accent, have given me a metaphorical hard on.

1307 OMG She has a facebook.

1309 Must not friend. Must NOT friend.

1310 She's a fan of Richard Montague? Linguistic geek.

1327 If your lecturers are as careless as mine, they forget to turn the mike off immediately after the end of the lecture, so any conversation held by them, around or near them can easily be tuned in to by the mind-numbingly bored ilecturing student. Enter Martin The Suck-up Linguistics Student who stays back late after lectures to chat up Marie-Eve by "commending the Linguistics department on their excellently organised lecture slides" (no really), "discussing degrees of infelicity" or "exploring the subversive nature of infinite descriptors in Klingon.". Geek.

Back Off Martin, she's mine!

1340 Ms Frichot from high school English was a beret-wearing douchebag who pronounced 'genre' as "joh...." (as in, you're trying to say john but with the 'g' sound of genre, but you only get as far as the vowel and stop before n). "Joh....". It's not a french thing, Marie-Eve doesn't do it, you're a total Wanker!

1505 OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY FUCKING GODASKJFHSDKLJFHA ....
NEIL GAIMAN AND AMANDA FUCKING PALMER ARE FUCKING DATING..... FUCKING AND DATING. FOR SEVERAL MONTHS! OH MY GOD OH M GOD!


THE NEWS: http://flavorwire.com/23874/amanda-palmer-neil-gaiman-dating-housing-works-boo


NAKED AMANDA AND CLOTHED NEIL IN A BATHTUB


AMANDA AND NEIL FULLY CLOTHED

OH. MY. GOD. I CAN'T. THIS CAN'T ARRRGGHHHH. IT'S AWESOME, I KNEW IT, BUT THE. WHAT THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH I MUST LIE DOWN LEST I HAVE THE VAPORS

1629 Extract from Amanda Palmer's blog:

it was also kind of an out-of-the-closet gig for us. we’ve been dating for a while, and while not actually keeping it a shut-up-shut-up secret, we’ve been not advertising it because….errrr, why do that? but it’s at the point where it’s just dumb so: yes. i’m dating neil gaiman. and moreover, he’s dating me. (very handy).
and more than that, i truly love him. i do.
the man makes me so, so, so, so happy. finding someone who understands me…really, really understands me…is a miracle. it’s never been this easy. we don’t need to change each other at all. it may sound absurd but he’s the only man i’ve ever met who’s willing to love me unedited, to take me as i am, completely, utterly. it’s been a bitch of a life, this one, running around and touring and working and trying trying to figure out this job and also trying to find real love that works. it’s near impossible. neil gets it. he gets what i do, he gets who i am, he gets how i work, inside and out, and as my friend anthony would say: he loves me despite knowing me. and i get him. i love every inch of his self. and so that’s that. i think i should keep him around, eh? he can also write, cook, sing, drive stickshift, beekeep and give great neckrubs.
but the man cannot play a tambourine in rhythm to save his LIFE.
can’t have it all.

Fair enough.

OK, I need a friend who reads Chinese and I need them now. What does this say:

母亲的出生地点

....

Because that's what my secret Question for getting into my email account has been changed to. My hotmail's been hacked, the password and recovery Question changed and I'm really freaked. that email has 2 years worth of replied comments to my LJ which i never got around to deleting, mother's amazon, paypal and ebay accounts which i now have to close, a lot of other important shit i can't actually remember. >.>

FUCK.

i cannot do turns in tap dancing. it is a silly concept. As if twirl on the spot while tapping out a rhythm. too much multi-tasking.

i watched dusk turn to dawn from the inside of the murdoch library today. the computer said i'd been logged on for seven hours and twenty minutes. so i went home at 0730 having accomplished nothing. i didn't have a drop of energy drink, but i suppose it doesn't take energy to stare blankly at a computer screen for hours and play games on miniclip.

i think i'm turning into a zombie.

THE REVOLUTION BEGINS HERE

diarfa si rehtom.

Being focused is an odd feeling. I don't understand it. I have a timetable. But it's in my head so don't ask me for it. Work, Uni, Assignments, Uni, Tap, Friends, Jacey. No queers, no activists, no guitar and piano (unless it REALLY strikes me), no pressure to draw, fanfic, club, Panto or Pelican it up. For once I'm not doing anything that I think I should be doing but don't actually want to for now. And it's goooooood.

Advanced Tap is impossible, but as it turns out I like impossible. Friends who can't relate to my inner freak are apparently harder than impossible.

I have the beginnings of a collage on my wall beside my bed. It started with a signed Amanda Palmer photo and concert ticket, and then radiated outwards to include a Batman kissing Robin patch that Ania got for me, a clothespeg project piece, Stargate photos and a Hitchhiker's Guide badge. Soon there will be more! Not that anyone ever sees my room anyway.

I have no tangible photos of anyone. Does anyone remember the point in time you stopped printing off your photos? For a while during the heady days of the Digital Revolution I was adamant that nothing would change! Armed with my $600 slow shutter Kodak digital camera, I would march down to the chemist every month and print off my static memories and everything would go on as always. Not so. Facebook owns my memories now.



Neil Gaiman must have an extremely understanding and secure wife. Really. If my sexy British coat-wearing award-winning husband was being serenaded by an underwear-clad Amanda Palmer to the sultry tunes of Radiohead, I would be:

a) Extreemely jealous
b) Wondering if everyone would be so accepting if it was me lounging around recording studios in my underwear
c) Seeking divorce and/or a threesome.

Question of the Week: Street Art (graffiti, stencil graffiti, wheat pastings, stickers, etc). Love it/Hate it? Does it have a place in society and in public space or are graffiti artists misguided self-righteous deviants whose deliberate attempts to break down the system of property rights and advertising space, will lead to a polarised society and higher taxes? Discuss. :)

I:

+ have a girlfriend. Again.
+ am queen of throwing temper tantrums over silly children's games.
+ feel so empty.
+ love my friends and feel the deep horrible void of their absense(s), but cannot work up the energy to see them. COME TO ME :(
+ am finally seeing Life of Brian tomorrow, God.
+ am starting tap classes... Once I find a school close-by with adult beginner classes that aren't scary. Who's with me?!
+ went to church this saturday, got mistaken as my dad's "son" (nothing new) and actually managed to get something out of the catholic experience while maintaining my own spiritual beliefs. *pat on back*
+ have existential crises over bearing children, biological impulses, scientific worldviews, and have noone to share them with.
+ will screw this up.
+ can't talk about anything anymore.
...

+ need pizza and a weeklong holiday?

Things are effed up people, things are EFFED UP.

But you know what's not EFFED UP?

THIS SHIRT!!! Which I just received in the frickin' mail, and it's so frickin' cool, and i'll wear it for-frickin'-ever!

Going to Caversham park right now, Mother's birthday, brb.

PS: Vidya, come the fuck back :(

So I agreed to buy Richard's car today. As in I test drove it (having Richard next to you in his beloved Helga makes you feel like you're getting tested for your license all over again), looked over it and agreed within half an hour flat.

It has a SUNROOF. And air-con. And a CD player. And LEATHER SEATS (i never understood why this was a plus, but I roll with the tide) And and yes I'm a poor girl from the Subcontinent who never dared dream of such splendid things, and now I'm getting them all in a 1992 silver Saab in relatively good condition for $2000.

OK, so it's not as fuel efficient as my trusty Hyundai and in these trying economic times I should be conserving energy and thinking ergonomically and increasing market shares and I don't know what I'm saying obviously let's get on with this, and yes I am paying off an $800 debt as we speak, and YES Saab parts are slightly more expensive and repairs and maintenance shall be trickier,

and YES my parents have cursed my decision and DOOMED me to a life of BAD JUJU and REGRET and their NEVERENDING CRITICISM AND SCORN if I buy this car RIGHT NOW as I am threatening to do...

And... can someone back me up? :(

Or think of any other reasons why this is a bad idea? Opinions/Experience/GOOD JUJU vibes welcome

( Icon MEME )



Well I'm hooked! It looks set to be pretty damn epic and probably a lot more thrilling than the way it was written. (Yes I have problems aplenty with HBP, not just because of my shipping habits though) But this! This looks awesome. I always thought HBP should have had a trippy, carnival sort of atmosphere.

PS: Harry/Ginny is still fail. Look at that kiss >.> *sigh*

PPS: I plan to go back to my old Online Harry Potter RPG haunts come this summer hols. I miss the Potions homework and the broomstick trading and the House points. :( Srsly.

PPS: .... hehe.

I want to...

learn how a computer works and how to fix it on every possible level. And how to program...
start using open source software...
be a part of a Sea Shepard expedition...
comprehend basic cryptography...
write an original short story...
go back to the piano and figure out just what the fuck 'scales' are...
understand chaos and M theory (getting there)...
find out more about the Pilgrims' move to America and that whole period of history...
drop in on a half-pipe...
learn how to set up a rudimentary telephone line in a town with no electricity, and the principles that enable us to shout down a palm sized box and be heard thousand of miles away...
spend some time in a monastery...
write a letter to Philip Pullman and tell him how fucking awesome he is...
be able to read Phoenician and heiroglyphics...
give meaning to non-physical reality...
walk a substantial amount of the Earth...

...before I die.
~

I don't care if I...

...finish my Arts degree, or any other degree.
...carry off a lead role in a stage production.
...learn to play the guitar fo realz.
...learn anything about Australian history.
...never read Shakespeare.
...never have a career.
...find a soulmate.

These are all things that I think should want. And that other people think I should want. But I don't.
~

PS: Do this on your own LJ or in reply if you want, just be honest.

Hello Eljay! Have an update:

+ Pride, was awesome. Apparently I missed my idiotic debut on free-to-air TV, and this mostly concerns me since I must have been dancing too furiously to notice a film crew anywhere >.> damn my perfectly timed pelvic thrusts! Oh and the Grates that night were pretty cool too.

+ My skateboarding has vastly improved in the last two months and I'm now not afraid of public, daytime, on-campus skating. (Note: this does not mean I don't stack it in highly embarassing, public ways. Learning to skate is about learning to fall too, kids!) Of course this leads to mostly harmless eyebrow raising and 'hardkore' taunts from Guild staff... But Arnold's just jealous.

+ Linguistics Jeopardy was played today ("I'll take 'Those Darn Phonemes' for $300 please, Daniel.") and surprisingly, Team Acrophonic (namely myself and some far more intelligent people) owned the leaderboard and eventually Final Jeopardy. God, I love Jeopardy. It's a 7pm ritual for my mother and I these days. On the days that we're speaking anyway.

+ As a side note: Libido? Through the fucking roof. Ridiculous! I blame the onset of Summer. and Clubbing Season. And the surprising but well-timed return of Sarah "But I'm a Socialist" Green. Hmm. Also, I get the feeling I'm being stalked by someone, but I can't be too sure. Only tomorrow will tell.

Speaking of tomorrow: Live From the Oak Lawn, It's END OF SEMESTER! It's almost sad how much I'm looking forward to this. :D



Someone get me this for my 21st?

Mother: SHAMINI STOP LEAVING YOUR SKATEBOARD IN DOORWAYS AND LIVING ROOMS AND KITCHENS AND-- Why are there dead bees everywhere?

Camp Joseph, I have missed thee! :) Incidentally, I don't know why there are dead bees everywhere, it's certainly got nothing to do with me or Bernard Black, but I'm sure she'll find a way to make it my fault in a day or two.

In other news:



A-ATTACK'S FIRST MAJOR SEMI-DECENT PERFORMANCE
Fri 17th Oct 2008 (That's tomorrow)
6pm at the Curtin Tav
Be there... please?

For the non-clued-in, A-attack began as a joke of a facebook thread which quickly blossomed into an idea. An Idea That Could Change The World.... After discovering that they shared the unbreakable bonds of 90s pop addicts, Shamini (Kevin Razorline), Celia (Johnny Rock) and Sarah (Ringo) set out to create Perth's first ever Unofficial 90s Pop Air Cover Drag King act!

And before anyone could stop them (because you can't stop the beat, oh no!) they choreographed moves to 'The Call' by the Backstreet Boys and 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls at Queer Camp. And the world was hooked.

And then Sarah over-enthusiastically booked them for the Curtin tav one day and they've been rehearsing like mad ever since.

So if you miss your 90s youth and want to relive the moments that were boyband gold, I suggest you get down to Curtin this Friday, lest I look like an idiot in baggy pants and a Justin hairdo >.>

...I don't care if it's only accurate every 5 minutes, I really want one!

Maybe thinkgeek will produce a mini replica working model one day.

Note: I'm booking an appointment to get a tattoo this Friday. Yes. Yes really. That is all.

Ellen and Portia to marry today

1 2 3, Awwwwww....

In other news, because I am very late to things:



Also, I am really really sick of being told that I only hate Katy Perry because I'm gay and righteous and angry and that I should just "chill out a little". Fuck you Aquinas fratboy! I hate Katy Perry because that is a lameass excuse for a hit song which relies on shock factor as opposed to pop-song awesomeness, and because 92.9 called her the "World's Biggest Superstar" (er. what?) just for producing one measly song that cashes in on flysexual experimentation, and also because it's kind of high-pitched and hurts my ears.

There.

French play is killing me, but Linguistics is awesome. This terrible journal entry was brought to you by 3 hours of sleep in the Dolphin Theatre bio box.

Apart from all the important stuff, cure cancer, gay marriage, make Hilary president (that's right bitches!) etc, I would:

1. Make Harry/Hermione into CANON. Yes, that's right, you'd all wake up one day in your worst shipping nightmares, Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!! Oh and there would be at least a *vague* hint of Dumbledore's supposed homosexuality in the last book at least. >.>

2. Make it so that the second or third layers of human skin can exchange pigment and colour in between skin cells, thus leading to MOVING/ERASABLE TATTOOS! Wouldn't that be really really cool?

3. Make whales harpoon the Japanese (for research purposes only)
- - - - - - - - -


No, this isn't me, you retards. This is some other Asian who takes odd photos in AQWA marine-life viewing tunnels.

I'd forgotten how incredibly awesome this place was. Of course having your own tremendously eager, Marine-Biology-studying, personal tour guide along to answer stupid questions, makes everything better. She has a frequent visitor card (that means at least four visits a year). Also I mentioned that they did weddings there and well... yeah, bad idea >.> I should be scared.

And then we had fish and chips for lunch, with maximum irony and some guilt on the side. :) And then I went home and forgot to buy Grates tickets >.> But apart from that, it's nice having a girlfriend who's a bigger geek than me.

( Hero worship rant (politix involved) )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: Isaac, did I ever tell you that Alex is like best friends with FUCKING Tane? :P Also are you guys clubbing tomorrow? I shall be out like a mofo!

PPS: Thomas Reynolds, if you're alive please contact *someone*! We're all a bit worried.

Youtube of the Week, because Neil Gaiman's been blogging about her so much, this is Amanda Palmer, in the early years, talking about her life and street performance: